All Mui Fans are welcome to post, but no swearing, attacking, name-calling and please respect other people's opinions. Forum manager reserves the right to delete any messages that violate above stated principles. 所有梅迷歡迎在此留言, 交換意見, 互通消息. 請自律! 壇主保留刪除任何含有攻擊性留言的權利!
Hi! ana! Nice to hear from you again! Re: the DOAD, I do not mean the box office result(sorry for not making it clear). There were negative issues that came up after doing the movie, like relationship strained/betrayal whatsoever. Anyway, it's a closed book already, so no need to reopen
Re: your question, I'm sorry I don't know the answer, hopefully Woodstock knows and is willing to answer in my behalf Thanks in advance!!!
I have the same thinking as Grandma, about 'she needed emotional support from her family members' especially her mother. I think if Mui got a degree, I don't think she would get rid of her inferior complex, because not having a proper schooling was not the only regret, Mui didn't have a childhood and in her family, boys were more important than girls, it's very hard to live in this kind of family...
Yes, we need to learn to move forward w/our lives, but we need to have 'true love' and support to live on, in the world of Mui, how many people are 'real'? Mui is a superstar, we can not think in our normal way because we can not feel how hard the pressure is around her.
Mui said in her interview about her mother used to locked the gate, she could only watch children from neighborhood playing through the gate. She never had classmates, friends when she was young.
You can know, how lonely she was as child...
All this, I think, was already starting Mui to have inferior complex, because as child you would think, why my own mother is like this to me...so others would also not love me...
I'm totally agree with you, Dana 'if shes studying to improve herself thats great but if shes doing it to improve her image to the public..Why should she???', I agree also what Woodstock said that Mui read a lot of books, because Mui knows she needs to upgrade herself even she doesn't study for a degree.
I want to agree with Mossimo here, in his first post. I'm uncomfortable about us building up a mythology about a 'horrible childhood' for Mui, based on what she said in a few interviews. It's said we should "cultivate non-attachment", and OUR idea of Mui's unhappy childhood is one good example of what not to become too attached to. (Another example of what not to become too attached to is the tearful 'last song' of the CML concert.) This is for our own sanity and benefit, more than hers.
First, 'inferiority complex' is not something real, like 'sprained ankle' or 'bird flu', it's just psychological jargon, somewhat obsolete, that people use out of convenience, to describe a condition of a particular person at a particular time, but each person and each time could be vastly different in nature and cause, Second, Mui is humble and doesn't like to brag, and she, like most celebrities, is always aware of the effect her words will have on her younger fans and wants to be responsible. The last thing she would say is "Well, I didn't go to school much, didn't get a degree, and I can still buy whatever I want, I have lots of friends and my phone is always ringing. Do what I do and you can succeed too."
I guess I want to look for all the positive things in her life, if only to ward off our 'karmic retribution' in the form of a really extreme melodramatic film of Anita Mui's life, based on the mythological 'bad childhood' blown up to ridiculous, tabloid extreme proportions, just to make a more sensational movie. You know it could happen! (I'll censor his name---W*** J***)haha! I remember seeing, in 1973, I think, a film of the life story of one of our legendary singers, Billie Holiday, played by Diana Ross. (called "Lady Sings the Blues"); the scene I remember most, of her first job singing in a night club, the patrons would fold dollar bills lengthwise on the edge of the table, she would have to lift her skirt and pick up these tips in her crotch! Now this is an unhappy childhood!
Did Anita's mom beat her for not earning enough tips? I don't think so... On the other hand the fact of earning money to support one's family is so therapeutic, such good karma, just the opposite of most spoiled brats. Being a spoiled brat is an unhappy childhood that is REALLY hard to recover from. So a few people called her a drug addict; but how much better is that than being called a drug addict when you ACTUALLY ARE a drug addict? Many of our pop stars are, going to jail, rehab, etc. She had a troublesome stepfather, but she provided herself with a weapon, thereby protecting herself and her sister from a much worse fate, by her own heroic action. How lucky is that outcome? She had her sister, by all accounts a real treasure, working with her, and her dogs for friends.
And she was fortunate in that her mom apparently was talented herself, and was competent enough to conduct the 'school for the arts (?)' I would be interested in hearing more about this school. Exactly what was Anita's mom's role in this? How common was it for a woman in that time to run such a school, what was taught, how many students, what was the atmosphere, was Mui's mom beautiful? Many questions. If you were a bird, or butterfly, watching Mui's family in 1962-63, before Anita was born, what would you see?
It's late and I wrote this fast, so I hope I haven't annoyed anyone. By the way, nothing has impressed me as much as the photos of the Big Buddha, especially the third, back view, which shows the scale of this creation. Wow!
Hi all!
Amazing!!!
Well, there might be a point, in that inferiority complex is a psychology jargon..but then jargon do exists in health sciences esp medicine, psychology, nursing, veterinary science etc., if anyone is in any of these fields should know.
Being humble n having low/no self-confidence is totally different. We, as the public do not know her that well. As a Superstar, she had to take care of her image n be careful of what she says. Anita is not only a Superstar, shes one of the older generation. If she slips by one step, shell fall harder than her younger compatriots. What Im saying is she should be proud of her roots not telling everyone that she became successful by not studying, success came because she worked hard n she put her mind to it.
Young minds are very impressionable esp when you do not have much security n at a vulnerable age. Everyone perceive their childhood differently, it may seem alright on the outlook, having a mom n sister to fall back on, not being forced to do illegal work but the pressure, stress may build up on her...did BillieH n Anita have the same similarity in personality, character, strength? We wouldnt know..therapeutic to earn money to help the money? At such a young age? N w/such a demanding job? If she came out to work when she was a teen/kid, she sure wasnt thinking of good Karma n that she would be blessed in her next life.
Yea..she provided herself w/a weapon, but the fear is actually still there.[lets say you get mugged by someone n eventhough you defended yourself,you still feel shaky n scared after the experience] Imagine she has to go through that every night/until she trusted her step-father. Heroic? Should be street-smart.
Anita loved dogs, yea, they are good companionship n they love you unconditionally but they are not the people she wants acceptance from.
I'm totally agree with you, Dana. How can a little child think about 'Karma' ? And the pressure and the stress are more hard for a little child, sure her mother gave her a lot of pressure for making her a perfect singer. And at the time that Mui was a little singer, being singer is not a popular job, people looked down to singers, you can imagine how scary it was for Mui.
Being a 'spoiled brat' is an unhappy childhood but at least, the child can go out, can spend money, don't have to work, can play like other children.
The words 'drug addict' is very painful to hear when you are not, in Mui's case, like she said, she may not say anything back, she needs to keep everything inside. And don't forget, Mui is not a man, girls like beauty and being loved.
You can think about it, when we didn't do anything wrong but someone blame on you, you would be also very unhappy.
This discussion will never have an end as we will never have an answer from Mui herself. But some true facts just can't be brushed aside as they never have happened, only because we do not want to believe.
What I feel is that a child, deprived of education and companionship and parental care and love when she had to support the whole family in such a young age as Mui, and when the general economic condition of the society (HK in 1960s) was not in such a disastrous situation as in the time of David Copperfield, is most unfortunate, and deserves our compassion. Whether such a person will have inferior complex and forever lives in the shadow of such a unpleasant childhood all depends on the person herself, the social environment she later lives in, and the family support she gets from.
I agreed to what Mossimo mentioned "From past articles & interviews,can be read that her inferior complex was that she felt that she did not have a proper education,she knew about nothing else except singing. She probably felt out of place as everyone had some form of education."
Most of us concluded that Mui has inferior complex is because she herself said she only found herself and her confidence on the stage. She is almost a perfect person at least in my opinion, why should she lack confidence in her real life? It is because she felt she was inferior or inadequate, compared to others, in real life.
In her circle, many people took advantage of her generosity, had free meals, borrowed money from her without returning. Due to childhood without friends, she desperately wanted to have friends. Since she made plenty of money, she didn't mind to spend money in order to have big group of people keeping her companion. But were these real friends? She herself mentioned the entertainment circle was most practical and cruel, if she was not so generous to them, would she still have such a big group around her? Only she herself knew better.
I feel one thing hurt her most is the lacking of family support, instead of helping her when she had to fight all by herself in the entertainment circle where even man might have difficulty to survive all by himself, the most heartbroken thing was that one of her family members even cheated on her, and she had the impression that her parent only cared about her money instead of her as a daughter. The hurt and disappointment one suffers most is the hurt caused by those one loves most. Also her family made her feel inferior too. I think people generally upgrade themselves with improvement in their financial condition, but her family might bring her embarrassment and disgrace often all the time.
Mui was grateful to her parent, and she knew her success should partly be attributed to her mother too, otherwise she would not take up the heavy responsibility to support her mother all by herself. But it doesn't mean she would like to trade her success in singing with her schooling if she had a choice. Don't forget she always just wanted to have a simple, humble life, being a little woman with her own family of a husband and kids.
True being an idol , the last thing she would say is "Well, I didn't go to school much, didn't get a degree, and I can still buy whatever I want, I have lots of friends and my phone is always ringing. Do what I do and you can succeed too." (quoted from FB). But from the expression, the reluctance in her tone, or the way she spoke in numerous interviews, you can feel that she really felt regret and ashamed that she didn't have a proper schooling. And she sincerely wished all her fans to study more if they had a chance, because she believed that after they had proper schooling they might have more choice for their jobs, (though we all know the true fact might not be as ideal as she thought, with a paper one can always be more competitive, and will have more self confidence.)
Anyhow, I think we should always remember one of the positive messages Mui tried to bring us: if we have a chance we should try to enhance ourselves, so that we will have more survival skill and more confidence in ourselves. As for Mui herself, I think Fate didn't treat her too well, and just as Grandma said "Fate decided otherwise."
....................................
P.P. By your message, I can see that your English is very good, even better than mine. Also I know you are a new fan, if you are seriously interested in Mui, and want to know more things about her, I advice you to use the dictionary to find all those words you don't know. Please don't count on me, because if you are waiting for my translation for the above messages, it will be more difficult than for you to win Mark Six. Also I never translate messages left my fans. Sorry about that!
Dana, Angel and Woodstock, very well said and analysed. I can't agree more.
Woodstock brings out an important point about the general economic condition in the 60's. Actually during late 60's and the whole of 70's, Hong Kong was at the peak of the industry boom (it was not Dicken's time), it was easy for an 'adult' to find a job to support a family. It was not a necessity for a 'child' to support her family the other way round. The society and the family have an obligation to protect the children, to provide education etc. To ensure children have proper education, at that time the government provided 9-year 'free' education to all children in HK (under the age of 15). 9-year means 6 years primary schooling and 3 years secondary's. Mui quitted school after first year in secondary school, meaning that she had been deprived of her right to receive formal free education. If I were her, I would also ask the same question 'Why me?'
Grandma, don't you know how many years of her elder
brother older than she? When she was a child, he was
already an adult.
P.P.: Yes, I know that. You summarised my message in one sentence. Thank you.
Hi all!
Thank you, Woodstock n grandma for your define explanations esp the section abt the economic situation in the 60s.
Everyone of us always ask why me? There's never one
person in this world who have never thought that the
grass is greener on the other side..looking at the brighter side, fate was not entirely cruel to her, though. Anita had success w/her singing n acting, she build up a respectable image n she managed to be level-headed even though she was a Superstar. These are all admirable qualities.
Life is not controlled by only one aspect of the world, I supposed, everything comes together.
This discussion has been interesting n knowlegeable, no doubt, we have our differences but anything related to Anita should be worthwhile. Thanks to Woodstock, grandma, Mossimo, June, Angel, FB n all silent readers.
My apologies for any offensive remarks on my part.
Hi! P.P., You could try out this 'popular toy':
http://world.altavista.com
while reading along. Goodluck!